Sometimes, introverts come across as rude or condescending. Sometimes even boring or stuck up. But the truth? Well . . . let's explore some things, shall we? Being an introvert myself, I can assure you that sometimes even just the thought of talking to people can make introverts shake in their boots.
So first of all, when we stare at the floor or keep quiet during a group's conversation, there's probably one of four things going through our heads: 1) we don't feel like we have anything intelligent to add to the conversation and we just feel stupid if we open our mouths, 2) we feel rude if we butt into the conversation, 3) we don't want attention, or 4) we're tired and want to go home.
If an introvert acts like they want to go home, do not take it personally. It's not that they don't like you—it's just because introverts get utterly exhausted by people, and in order to keep from becoming grumpy and trollish, we have to go home and sit in silence for about 18028 hours (sliiiight exaggeration, I guess. Maybe.) to recharge and be ready to face the world once more. Again, it's not personal. Sometimes we even get tired of ourselves.
If an introvert stiffens when you give them a hug, again, do not take it personally. Well, I mean, if they just don't like you, that could be the case, but sometimes introverts just really, really like their personal space, and they don't like it invaded. I personally love hugs (not sure if I'm in the minority here), but some people don't. And getting hug after hug from someone I don't know well? Ehh . . .
If you meet an introvert online before you meet them in person, you may be kinda shocked at how quiet they can be in person as opposed to online. Do they have two personalities? No! Now, I can't speak for all introverts, obviously, but in my personal experience, if an introvert acts like an extrovert online, it's because we really feel more comfortable being ourselves when people aren't right there staring at us.
*gasp* Introverts are bubbly on the inside?
Actually, sometimes, yes. It's just a lot harder for us to open up and be ourselves face-to-face with real people. So when we act bubbly online as opposed to in person, it's often because we feel so much more confident when people can't actually see us. If that even makes sense.
So, sometimes when we seem to be super stuck-up or condescending, it's not because we actually are (I mean, sometimes, maybe, I guess, but everyone has their moments . . . ). We just feel really uncomfortable and out of our comfort zones, and don't know what to say, do or act. We feel conspicuous just by sneezing in a crowd. So next time you spend time with an introvert . . . be patient, 'kay?
Well, I hope that gave you a bit of insight into why we introverts are the way we are. Introverts: can you relate? Extroverts: does this help you understand us a bit more? ;)
If an introvert stiffens when you give them a hug, again, do not take it personally. Well, I mean, if they just don't like you, that could be the case, but sometimes introverts just really, really like their personal space, and they don't like it invaded. I personally love hugs (not sure if I'm in the minority here), but some people don't. And getting hug after hug from someone I don't know well? Ehh . . .
If you meet an introvert online before you meet them in person, you may be kinda shocked at how quiet they can be in person as opposed to online. Do they have two personalities? No! Now, I can't speak for all introverts, obviously, but in my personal experience, if an introvert acts like an extrovert online, it's because we really feel more comfortable being ourselves when people aren't right there staring at us.
*gasp* Introverts are bubbly on the inside?
Actually, sometimes, yes. It's just a lot harder for us to open up and be ourselves face-to-face with real people. So when we act bubbly online as opposed to in person, it's often because we feel so much more confident when people can't actually see us. If that even makes sense.
So, sometimes when we seem to be super stuck-up or condescending, it's not because we actually are (I mean, sometimes, maybe, I guess, but everyone has their moments . . . ). We just feel really uncomfortable and out of our comfort zones, and don't know what to say, do or act. We feel conspicuous just by sneezing in a crowd. So next time you spend time with an introvert . . . be patient, 'kay?
Um, this is so me! Especially when it comes to being WAY more quiet face to face than online! I am so introverted, although around my family, I can get a lot more extroverted... ;P
ReplyDeleteGreat post!!
-Brooklyne
"Sneezing in a crowd" *shudders* =P
ReplyDeleteI just recently learned that fact about it being normal for an introvert to need to recharge after an event--that made so much sense once I realized it is true. Now we have a good excuse--ahem, reason--to hide behind our books . =D
Thanks for this post, Kaitlyn!
Liberty Bluebelle
"Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free..."
Story of my life. Sensory overload, and you can just forget about me even wanting to see another person for at least a full day. XD And also, I'm the same way with hugs (as long as I like you, go for it ;p).
ReplyDeleteI can relate to so much of that. I'm an introvert through and through. I really to like my personal space so I only allow close family members and friends to hug me repeatedly. I will also do it to help show someone I do care about them in a way they will understand. It's not my love language (which is acts of service/gifts.) When there is a group conversation, I tend to get more quiet, especially if there is more than three or four people, because I'm completely and utterly exhausted. I tend to avoid situations where I'll feel like I can't add something to conversation, will seemingly be rude to accidentally interrupt, and just can't take being in the limelight. I certainly am a lot more bubbly around my close friends and family. When I get started on a subject I'm really passionate about, I can talk a mile a minute. After a few of those minutes, of course, I will need to recharge. Who here has spent seven hours completely alone (no human contact, no phone calls, except for a lunch break.) It was amazing! I like to think through what I say and carefully form the sentences. It's a lot harder to do that face-to-face than online. If anyone here know's what the Sixteen Personalities (https://www.16personalities.com/personality-types) Test is, I'm an ISTJ. If you haven't taken the test, you should. It's a lot fun to see how well the results match.
ReplyDelete